> strava.roast()
Your Strava stats. Dragged through the mud.
Upload your Strava activity or year in sport screenshot. Get an AI roast of your “athletic” performance.
Free • No account • Your screenshot is never stored
> sample.output()
Here's what you're in for.
🏃 Strava · Year in Sport
“3 runs in January, 0 in February. The resolution is not the problem. The problem is you.”
Your year in sport reads like an abandoned side quest. January was ambitious. February was honest. The GPS track from your last activity has more curves than your commitment to fitness.
How to roast your Strava
01
Take a screenshot
Open Strava and screenshot your Year in Sport, a recent activity, or your profile stats. The more numbers, the more ammunition for the AI.
02
Upload it
Hit the button below and drop your screenshot. Choose your roast intensity — Playful, Savage, or Nuclear.
03
Get your roast card
AI reads your stats and delivers a custom roast in seconds. Free with watermark. Remove it for the clean shareable card.
How bad is your year in sport?
Free roast card with watermark. No account. Takes 30 seconds.
Roast My Strava →Free • No account • Your screenshot is never stored
> faq()
Frequently asked
What Strava data can I upload?
Any Strava screenshot works — Year in Sport summaries, individual activity stats, your profile overview, weekly/monthly totals, or segment results. If it has pace, distance, elevation, or that embarrassing heart rate spike, we'll use it.
How does the AI roast work?
The AI reads your Strava screenshot and identifies your performance data — pace, distance, frequency, heart rate, and any patterns that tell a story. It then writes a custom roast card based specifically on your numbers. Not a template. Your specific shame.
Is my data private?
Your screenshot is used only to generate your roast card and is not stored after the card is created. We don't connect to your Strava account — just the image you upload. Nothing is retained once your card is ready.