> uber.roast()
Roast My Uber History — AI Reads Your Ride Patterns
Upload a screenshot of your Uber ride history and get a savage AI roast about where you go, when you go, and what it says about you.
Free • No account • Your screenshot is never stored
Free roast in 30 seconds — no account needed
> sample.output()
Here's what you're in for.
🚗 Uber · Trip History
“You Live 0.3 Miles From a Bus Stop”
You've taken 23 Ubers in the past month. Twelve of them were under a mile. Three were to a gym you also Ubered home from. Your most frequent destination is listed as 'Home' and you left from the same pub four Saturdays in a row. We're not judging. We are absolutely judging.
How to roast your Uber history
01
Screenshot your trips
Open the Uber app and go to your Trips page. Screenshot your recent rides showing destinations, distances, and times.
02
Upload it
Hit the button below and drop your screenshot into the uploader. Pick your roast tone — Playful, Savage, or Nuclear.
03
Get your roast card
AI reads your ride patterns and returns a custom roast card in seconds. Free with watermark. Remove it for a clean shareable card.
🔒 Privacy: Your screenshot is used only to generate your roast. It is never stored, shared, or used to train models. We don't connect to your Uber account — we just read the image you upload. Nothing is saved after your card is created.
Ready to face your ride history?
Free roast card with watermark. No account. Takes 30 seconds.
Get Roasted →Free • No account • Your screenshot is never stored
Free roast in 30 seconds — no account needed
> faq()
Frequently asked
What Uber data should I upload?+
Screenshot your Trips page showing your recent rides, distances, pickup locations, and times. The more rides visible, the more patterns the AI can identify.
Does it work for Uber Eats too?+
Yes! Upload your Uber Eats order history and watch the AI roast your delivery habits. Or check out /roast/deliveroo for dedicated food delivery roasting.
Is my location data stored?+
No. Your screenshot is processed to generate the roast and discarded immediately. We never connect to your Uber account or store any location data.
What if I barely use Uber?+
Then you're either very healthy, very broke, or suspiciously self-sufficient. All three are roastable. Upload whatever trips you have.